4 Reasons Why Sasuke Should Become Hokage

Written by: Micha 

I’m done living in denial.  Ever since the release of Chapter 631 I’ve been constantly having wet dreams of a certain Uchiha, and surprisingly this time it does not involve me drowning myself in the East River. If these certain dreams have taught me anything, it is that Uchiha Sasuke have finally conquered my hollow, dead heart with his charmingly good looks and hair products. And his announcement of wanting to become the Hokage has left me wanting to tear off my limbs like a hungry dog on weed just so I can have something to shower him as confetti.

See how conveniently Kishimoto drew the sparkles? 

I’ve to admit, I was rather upset as to how the Naruto fandom responded to Sasuke’s announcement, with their aggressive Tumblr posts and fanarts. It is rude and immature, people, and I highly recommend that you take the full liberty of grabbing a handful of those offensive posts and shoving it to the place where the sun doesn’t shine. Sasuke should become Hokage. And here are a couple of reasons why.

4. Sasuke loves his village.

For some unknown reason, this idea seems to escape most people in the fandom. After researching for sleepless nights, I’ve come to the conclusion that the fandom is being deceived by the manga translators who clearly are bred by the Satan, and have reserved themselves a special room in the bottomless pits of hell after committing this blasphemy. We’re being cuckolded by illiterate fools who probably do not understand the meaning of cuckold.  Or maybe they really wanted to keep us in the dark since they’ve finally realized that they can never claim Sasuke’s expensive hair products.

I’m talking about Chapter 402 where they had conveniently translated that Sasuke wanted to destroy the village; all thanks to me, which we now have come to realize that is nothing but garbage.

 

And no, this isn't photoshopped.

Now that we have witness this act of violence against truth by people we probably trusted more than our mothers, we can now safely agree that Sasuke, indeed, did not want to destroy Konoha.  In fact, he loved Konoha on a level that nobody ever has, since clearly he is jeopardizing his manliness for the sake of Konoha.  

3. Everyone acknowledges Sasuke.

There is some truth in it when Itachi Uchiha flipped his silky hair and said to Naruto, “It isn't that if u become hokage everyone will acknowledge you… It's the ones who are acknowledged that can become hokage.” It is logical too, that one’s governor must be a person who is approved by everyone. And I’m confident that Chapter 631 proved Sasuke to be nothing but approved material.

And no, this isn't photoshopped. 

Just look at those mouths desperately anticipating for the day they could eventually refer to Sasuke as ‘Hokage-sama!’. Just look at their body trembling with excitement when Sasuke jumped in to the battlefield, as if they’re already bored with Naruto’s tedious Talk No Jutsu. And just look at those dream filled eyes wanting to do nothing but tear off Sasuke’s clothes. And if that’s not acknowledgement, then I don’t know what is.

2. Sasuke has a good sense of humor.

Sometimes it gets really boring in the village, and we can imagine what it’d be like to have a stuck up person with a pointy thing up their private part for a Hokage. Also, that was the biggest reason why Minato died so young. However, we’ve certainly witnessed in the earlier chapters that Uchiha Sasuke is nothing of that sort.  

 

And no, this isn't photoshopped.

His smiles and sophisticated jokes bring a smile to even Tobirama’s face, who had never smiled in his entire lifetime in account of him being raised in North Korea. Uchiha Sasuke knows that there’s nothing wrong with having a random fit of giggles in the midst of battle, and it definitely does not make him look like he broke loose from the ward of a mental hospital.

Trust me on this one, oh fellow Naruto fan, Sasuke’s charismatic sense of humor is exactly what Konoha needs right now.

1. Sasuke has a nose.

This is the biggest reason that had convinced me that if anyone is becoming the next hokage, it should be nobody but Uchiha Sasuke. We all have been so indulged in the Shinobi War, focusing on pairings and centering our brain cells pondering whether Madara can grow a mustache or not, but somewhere along the lines we have overlooked one little, but most vital detail of all; all Hokage have noses. And Sasuke does too.

 

Holy shit, how haven't anybody thought of this before?

With very little information to predict the future of Naruto, we cannot afford to let little details like these slip away. It certainly isn’t a coincidence that all the previous Hokage have noses too. This is not something we can afford to overlook, since Sasuke becoming Hokage is clearly written in the stars.  

If you’re still not convinced that Uchiha Sasuke deserves to become Hokage after reading these solid, accurate reasons, I’m afraid that you’re beyond help. You shall smooch my behind and go back to doing what you do every day secretly behind locked doors with your laptops open; playing third generation Pokemon like the loser you are while Sasuke is busy falling in love with Konoha. 

And no, this isn't photoshopped.

Micha: [Co-founder]






Micha likes to broadcast her terrible drawing skills to the world on her DeviantArt account and talks about her life long ambition of making Yakushi Kabuto a woman, on her Skype; michasucks. Yes, with the dot. She will also respond to e-mails on her michamichamicha@live.com because Amber forces her to.
 Also, she now has an ask.fm. Here's your chance to harass her.