Saturday, April 1, 2017

Fuck You, Ino is the Best

Written by Shaggins

Time to tell you why you're an idiot!

That's right, I'm sick of this bullshit where people argue that Naruto should be with Sakura or Hinata or Sasuke. Guess what, they all suck. You know who doesn't suck? Ino Yamanaka. Ino is the best girl... no, the best character of Naruto. So shut up and read why Ino is the fucking best, and then go to hell once you're done because you won't admit I'm right and you're wrong. As always.

You read it on the internet, so it must be true.
You know what Ino is? Blonde. That's the best hair colour. Science confirmed it. You got a problem with that, take it up with Neil DeGrasse Tyson. He's the one who said it. Ino is blonde, and that instantly beats pink-haired pubes that she obviously dyes for attention because she's not Ino and therefore sucks. By being blonde, she's being awesome and everyone else has to deal with that.

You say Itachi is the best character? Well, does he have an imaginary harem? No. No he doesn't. Fuck Itachi. And fuck you.
Ino is a fucking flower girl! You know how intense that is? How difficult it is to manage those damn flowers, day in and day out? There's like 80 types of flowers on the planet, and she knows all of them because she's Ino. She can manage a flower as well as she can manage a man, and everyone knows Naruto is kind of like a plant if you squint your eyes. So that's another point in my favour.

Ino's favourite food? Cherry tomatoes! I know, right! Ramen and cherry tomatoes?! It's like fucking heaven fused with mozzarella! Is there a more perfect combination than that?

Ino knows how to assert her dominance over bitches that aren't Ino. They need to be put in their place, and that place is the floor.
Now, there's probably some of you going on about how Ino is "weak" or "useless" or "barely in the series actually, when compared to the biggest characters", or something else that makes you embarrass yourself, but I'm here to fix that and tell you to shut your face!

Shut your face!

Ino got together with Sai. SAI! That just proves she has amazing taste, because any man who can talk openly about penises is obviously dating material. Maybe you should try it sometime instead of thinking Hinata is anywhere near as good as Ino.

You want to know how badass Ino is? She's the strongest character. Yeah, that's right. Sage of Six Paths? Kaguya? Madara? Who the fuck are they?! Not Ino, that's who! She's nothing like those shit-for-brains and actually contributes to the story, and don't you dare say otherwise because if you disagree with me, you're a fascist and you lick trees. That's right, TREES!

I figured you weren't smart enough to figure it out with just words, so I made this image. You're welcome, you stupid shits.
So don't you ever insult Itachi Ino! Because if you do, you're fucking stupid! Fucking wrong! A giant bitch with zits on their ass and a beaver-bitten brain in your head!

Oh and you probably hate puppies too.

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Happy April Fools Day!






Shaggins:[Admin]
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Born under the stars of the Dark Gods, Shaggins owns the power of the Great Eye and is utterly magnificent in his omniscience. If you dare to discover more about someone as great as him, then go ahead. And to all my friends and family members, YOU are wrong and I should be disappointed! Not the other way round!, Love you guys, no really!. You can find out about him or ask him stuff on ask.fm/shigginsishere or go to his tumblr page http://otakugajeel.tumblr.com/

6 comments:

  1. TeyborApril 1, 2017 at 7:00 AM

    Well played Shiggins, well played. However I believe you have missed the true hero of the Naruto franchise. A true badass ninja that is so ninja they are invisible for almost the whole series, because ninjas are STEALTHY MOFOS! That's right. Screw Ino, the real best ninja is Tenten! (Drops the mic)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ShigginsApril 1, 2017 at 1:13 PM

      Stealth? In a ninja? Clearly you don't know what's important. What's important is whether or not they are blonde. Naruto is blonde. Deidara is blonde, and that's why he's secretly the main villain of the entire series. You know who else is blonde? Ino. I rest my case.

      Delete
    2. AnonymousOctober 2, 2019 at 8:42 PM

      You’re just racist against people who aren’t blonde, idiot.

      Delete
  2. Fu-reijiApril 9, 2017 at 4:06 PM

    Question. any thoughts on Boruto's first anime episode. only real positive I can give is that didn't use Ikemoto's art style but the negatives more or less speak for themselves as one they are using Ikemoto's spoiler plot spot where the world is in ruin in the future which in all likelihood is probably Borutos fault somehow where his flash back I the anime goes even further back to when he started school which in a sense as most say felt like a Naruto 2.0 told by a kid who doesn't see eye to eye with his daddy cause he's not home as much.

    I feel like we'd have gotten a different story had they used Himawari or Sarada as their main character or at the very least do what Yugioh does and make up a brand new main character who has no blood relations whatsoever with Naruto cause choosing Boruto just says the ninja world is fucked without an Uzumaki or fucked even harder cause Boruto somehow screws up by trying to be Naruto and Sasuke in one go.

    I know this is your april fools blog thing but I would like to hear your thoughts Boruto's anime run at some point. worse or bad but still a bit better than it's manga counter part to an extent.

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    Replies
    1. ShigginsApril 10, 2017 at 6:05 AM

      Well, first of all Sarada would have been the absolutely best character to be the protagonist of that generation since the others mostly suck and she's literally the best female character of the series. Secondly, I instantly grow dislike towards a series when they try to continue an already finished story using their child. (See the Cursed Child for an example of how badly it can go...)

      As for the episode itself, I didn't hate it but I didn't like it either. I can't believe that after the manga and a movie, we've now begun a series about Boruto hating his dad. I'm personally just tired of seeing the series trying to make me feel bad for Boruto because his dad's an asshole for some reason.

      Maybe once a few episodes have come out I'll do a proper review on it, or compare it to the manga.

      Delete
    2. Fu-reijiApril 10, 2017 at 11:46 AM

      cool then. also I knew I was gonna regret reading chapter 11 due "new arc" but all that basically was doing is rehashing the arc 1 from the original Naruto from chasing man who is at the top of the bingo book to boruto having to play bodyguard with a kid who was basically konohamaru and himself in how they viewed their parent figures for being important people. the whole katasuke thing for ikemoto gets turned into "oh well it turns out katasuke wasn't really a douchebag he was just mind controlled the whole time. I could understand someone funding him to make more ninja tech behind naruto's back but mind control from how the anime was handling that similar concept was a dumb way to settle that. on top of all that looking at everything overall Ikemoto is basically making Boruto a mix of Naruto and Sasuke like they got married and had a baby named Boruto.

      me personally I really feel like the only reason they using the "one" special byakugan thing for boruto was so they could sell him as a main character when most people can't read under the lines of what ikemoto is basically doing since those who say they like it don't even realize there's rehashing and even a bit of play by play plagiarism happening under all that.

      also do you have a link to the cursed child cause I never heard of it.

      Delete

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