Written by Shiggins
|Heads, we eat your brain. Tails, you get your brain eaten.|
|Wow, a guy talking to his own inner monster. Like Green Goblin. Or Doc Ock. Or New Goblin. Or The Lizard. Or...|
As Eddie Brock however... meh. While he has the name and investigative reporter job, his personality is not what comes to mind when you think of Eddie. In this, he's down and sad, which is fine, but there's a distinct lack of anger. And anger is one of Eddie's biggest selling points, at least during the early years of Venom. Tom Hardy's portrayal feels like a mixture of Peter Parker and Eddie Brock, but never quite reaching either of them. He's awkward, but not awkward enough to be Peter. And he's defeated, but not angry enough at his defeat to be Eddie.
|.....This is for the PS2, right?|
None of the other performances, such as Michelle Williams as love interest Anne Weying, Reid Scott as Anne's boyfriend Dan and Jenny Slate as scientist Dora Skirth, are really worth talking about. They do fine with what they are given, but the script is bland and the dialogue is everything you've heard about. The one exception is Riz Ahmed as Carlton Drake, the villain, and I think this might be the biggest miscasting of the year. He can be a good actor, but Riz Ahmed is not an intimidating man and seeing him try to square up to Tom "Bane" Hardy, give out speeches about the Bible that actually make no sense (his view on Isaac and Abraham is very distorted) and attempting to threaten people is almost cute.
|You think this scene is going to be awesome. You are mistaken.|
And that brings us to Venom himself.
Oh, how I wish I could have liked this character. I really wanted to, but he's just not a well-written character. Venom is inconsistent, has no end goal, and has almost no connection to Eddie for the majority of the film besides a quip or two. When the film tries to deliver the "we've bonded and we're a team now" scene before the climax, it falls completely flat and doesn't fit with any of the past events whatsoever. The other symbiote that you've seen in the trailers, Riot, is basically the same as Venom but with less quips and seems to do nothing but wander around for 6 months until the climax is ready to let him join in.
I admit to some satisfaction in seeing the character Venom be Venom. When he runs up a building, smashing everything as he does, it feels like Venom. The way he throws people around, bites off heads, threatens to chow down on a pancreas or two... It's what Venom should be. I was happy to see Venom, but I don't know if the movie deserves any praise for it since that's me just pleased at seeing a character in live-action again. Any film could have achieved that.
|It's obvious, but I'll say it anyway. This film is severely hurt by not having Spider-Man in it. Couldn't they have brought back Andrew Garfield? Or gone for Miles Morales? Or even Spider-Gwen?|
The story is exactly what you expect, honestly. The first act is overly long and drags its feet to make sure you know how much of a loser Eddie is, (by the way, this act is far too reminiscent of 2004's Catwoman. And that is something no movie in 2018 should be compared to), before giving him the symbiote and becoming halfway-interesting, until it can lead to a big unearned climax where our hero fights a bigger version of themselves. A formula that we've seen over and over and over again, and we're meant to be moving past by now!
In a year where Teen Titans Go managed to get a movie, it's heartbreaking to see Venom be the worst comic book movie of 2018 (Unless Aquaman turns out to be offensively bad). A few decent quips from my favourite character in comics isn't enough to save this film, and if its a sign for things to come with this Spider-Man-Less Spider-Man Cinematic Universe, then we're all going to feel like Venom ate our delicious brains by the end of this decade.
Movie Rating: 4.5/10
Best Performance: Tom Hardy as Eddie Brock/Venom.
Best Part: Venom being Venom.
Worst Part: No bond between the leads.
|I just realised. I have no idea why he's called Venom in this film. There isn't one. *sigh*|
Born under the stars of the Dark Gods, Shiggins owns the power of the Great Eye and is utterly magnificent in his omniscience. If you dare to discover more about someone as great as him, then go ahead. And to all my friends and family members, YOU are wrong and I should be disappointed! Not the other way round!,. You can find out about him or ask him stuff on ask.fm/shigginsishere or go to his tumblr page http://otakugajeel.tumblr.com/