Ranking the DCEU Movies

 Written by Shiggins

What a bunch of Jokers.

The DCEU is such a ridiculous mess of movies, that it's almost fascinating to watch. There have been tons of failed attempts to make MCU ripoffs, from the planned "Men in Black crossover with 21 Jump Street" franchise, to the Dark Universe that was trying to make a franchise before it made a film, but none have held on as long as the DCEU has. These films are so loosely connected and a complete mix of genres and styles that I can't help but basically watch them all and see if it's going to be a bomb or not. So let's take a look and see who ranks where and why!

Suicide Squad

The movie so bad they made it twice. While this movie was the first to give us Margot Robbie's Harley Quinn, one of the best casting choices in this franchise, it also subjected us to Jared Leto's pimp daddy version of Joker, a billion scenes cut out by the studio, and one of the most dull villains in comic book movie history, so it evens out.

2016's Suicide Squad movie focuses on a secret government team, created by Amanda Waller (Viola Davis), full of supervillains to handle powerful threats. However, one of the villains chosen to be part of the team goes rogue and starts to destroy the world so the team have to take her down. And in the end, Amanda Waller will be proven right! Because if she hadn't formed this team, there'd be no team to take down the villain that was part of the team... yeah, that's the logic of this film.

It is good to see the beginning of Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn, as well as Jai Courtney as Captain Boomerang, Will Smith as Deadshot and Viola Davis as Waller, but the script is terrible, the story is laughably bland and none of the "villains" in the squad ever feel bad in any way, let alone evil. Will Smith keeps telling us he's a bad guy though, so it must be true.

Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice

Before any of you start, I have only watched the "Ultimate Edition" of this. People insisted this is the only version worth checking out, and so I did, and it still sucks! It might be better by comparison of the original, but that doesn't make it good. It makes it better than the original! Anyway, this is a dull, boring film with so many choices that seem like they could have been easily discussed away. Was there nobody in the writer's room to point out how bad some of these ideas were?

After the destruction caused in Man of Steel, Bruce Wayne/Batman (Ben Affleck) now views Clark Kent/Superman (Henry Cavill) as a threat to humanity that must be destroyed. Meanwhile, Superman has worries about the vigilante of Gotham known as the Batman, unaware he is taking part in the evil plot of Lex Luthor (Jesse Eisenberg). Also Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot) pops up to give Bruce an email for the upcoming Justice League heroes, basically skipping over their origin films so we can fast-forward to the big team-up movie.

Some of the ideas and themes presented here are interesting, like a world divided over Superman saving people, but that all gets swiftly abandoned before the climax. Everyone is miserable, Jimmy Olsen gets shot after two minutes of screentime, Jesse Eisenberg is giving the worst performance of his career, and the CGI abomination of Doomsday is just The Worst. Ben Affleck's Batman is an absolute highlight though, and his scenes feel like they had the most effort and thought put into them. It's just too bad he's spending his time focusing on fighting Superman instead of literally any of his own badass villains. I was going to make a joke about him fighting Gentleman Ghost, but there's no smiles to be had in this film, by anyone starring in or watching it.

Wonder Woman 1984

After the fantastic display of the first instalment, WW1984 was one I was very much keeping my eye on. I was admittedly disappointed to see Wonder Woman going on about Chris Pine again, but she also used her Lasso of Truth to swing on lightning, and her archenemy Cheetah was going to make an appearance! How could you go wrong?!

If the title didn't give it away for you, then allow me. WW1984 is set in the 1980s, with Diana Prince/Wonder Woman doing the usual superhero stuff you'd expect of her, until the businessman Maxwell Lord (Pedro Pascal) gets his hands on a McGuffin known as the Dreamstone that allows him to grant wishes. Diana wishes for Steve Trevor (Chris Pine) to come back to life, while Barbara Minerva (Kirsten Wiig) wishes to become more like Diana. Somehow this eventually results in her becoming a catwoman, but not Catwoman. 

Kirsten Wiig is pretty damn good as Barbara, and I don't mind the clichés as much as others most likely do, but a lot of the confidence and clever writing from WW's last movie is certainly missing during this time. The plot makes almost no sense, and there's a scene where Diana and Steve use an unwilling man's body to have sex. That is a horrible decision for this story to take, I hate it, and that alone would be enough to get this movie as low down on the list as you'd expect.

Justice League 

Whether you wanted to blame Zack Snyder (we'll get to his full cut soon), Joss Whedon or, my personal choice, the studio itself, it was clear to everyone that Justice League was released at the wrong time by the wrong people. It fell below expectations both critically and commercially, and there's been nothing but controversy about it since it's release. However, what matters most for this list is what we're seeing, not what happened behind the scenes... and yeah it's still pretty damn bad.

The big CGI villain Steppenwolf has arrived to gather the Mother Boxes so he can take over the world, and it's up to Batman to take him down by assembling Earth's Mightiest Heroes and getting into a big fight. This includes Wonder Woman, Aquaman (Jason Momoa), Barry Allen/The Flash (Ezra Miller) and Victor Stone/Cyborg (Ray Fisher). And then they'll resurrect Superman too and have a big ol' battle.

Instead of each hero getting an origin story beforehand, this Justice League film feels like they skipped that important step to get to the action quicker and said the phrase "for the fans" to compensate. There's references to Green Lantern and Darkseid as well, just to confuse audiences even more. Everything about this film feels like a superhero movie checklist, from the scene where heroes fight each other, to the quips, to the Flash acting like MCU's Spider-Man, and then finally the big uninteresting CGI army at the end to wrap things up. The only reason this film isn't any lower on the list is because it's more boring than terrible, and both Ezra Miller and Jason Momoa are actually alright in this. It's heart-breaking to see Ben Affleck so disinterested though, when he did an amazing job last time we saw him as Bruce Wayne. 

Zack Snyder's Justice League

Years later, after so much screaming and anger for it, the fans finally got the Snyder Cut they had always wanted. This is the full experience of Zack Snyder, around 4 hours long in runtime and even more expensive thanks to all the extended scenes and reshoots and whatnot. Finally, it was here to redeem the Justice League! And... I mean it is better than the last version, but that doesn't mean I think it's actually a good film.

So yeah, same as last time. Superman dead, people are sad, Steppenwolf has shown up, Batman and Wonder Woman form the Justice League and resurrect Superman to stop him. Except we also have more slow-motion, improved CGI, extra scenes to pitch sequels that will probably never happen, and a Martian Manhunter cameo that just pisses me off because I'd rather he get a movie than see Batman go through his 100th movie reboot next year. Yes, I actually said that!

The best part about this film for me is the comparison from a filmmaking perspective, able to see all the differences in style and technique that were clearly left out from the original to make it more serviceable for a mainstream audience. I find myself looking back-and-forth between the original film and this one, to see all the differences big and small. And yes, there is something fascinating about seeing Ray Fisher's Cyborg actually be quite interesting when you know all the stuff that went on with him and his character. That doesn't mean I actually want to rewatch the film itself however, even if I am impressed.

Man of Steel

Can we all agree that making Superman dark and gritty, trying to copy the Dark Knight trilogy formula, was a stupid idea? Even if you love this film, even if it's the best Superman film in your personal opinion, it's still a very weird choice to go for such a bright fantastical character. Personally, I think the film just barely manages to hang on because of this decision, but it's still watchable enough.

This is the origin story of Superman, from the destruction of planet Krypton to growing up in Smallville and then finally donning the outfit and learning to fly so he can take on the villainous General Zod (Michael Shannon) and keep him from getting a McGuffin that will kill a bunch of people. 

Like Batman vs Superman, there are ideas here that could have been great if explored more (like Zod getting his neck snapped) but the film is at least less boring and miserable throughout. Henry Cavill does a great job, as do Shannon as Zod, Russell Crowe as Jor-El, Amy Adams as Lois Lane and Laurence Fishburne as Perry White, and the action is exciting enough. I just struggle to get into it as much as the others, although that might be due to the tone and length. It's a looong time to spend in a film full of grey.

Shazam!

It's kind of hilarious how we went from nobody ever hearing the words "Captain Marvel" to that character (technically) having two movies in the same year. One was obviously called Captain Marvel, and it was actually alright, and the other was the hero once known as Captain Marvel, now known as Shazam. And speaking of things that are hilarious, half of this movie is too! And this time it's intentional!

In this 2019 movie, we follow Billy Batson (Asher Angel), an orphan looking for his mother, who is placed into a foster family, which includes the superhero fan Freddy Freeman (Jack Dylan Grazer). Soon, Billy is chosen by a wizard (Djimon Hounsou) to become the adult superhero Shazam (Zachery Levi) so he can fight the evil Dr Sivana (Mark Strong) and his Seven Deadly CGI Blobs.

Most of the comedy is surprisingly strong thanks to the performances, the foster family are actually nice real people instead of the comedy villains I expected, and there is quite a bit of heart in it. The film itself doesn't exactly break new ground and Mark Strong is wasted yet again as a generic villain that will be forgotten as soon as the movie is over, but if you want a DC film that is simply a good time, you can't go wrong with Shazam! Also it's set around Christmas. So that's something.

Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)

So with Margot Robbie being the best part of the bad Suicide Squad movie, it was a big relief we'd get much more of her as the DCEU started to "grow". So while this film was technically about the Birds of Prey team from the comics, it's more "Harley Quinn and Friends". And with this chaotic style of writing and editing, you can see why so many people were divided on this one.

Harley Quinn is back, but without Jared Leto to drag her down! She's recently broke up with him and is now going to enjoy the single life, but that means she no longer has the Joker's protection and so everyone she's ever wronged before is now out for her head. Desperate to stay alive, Harley makes a deal with Roman Sionis/Black Mask (Ewan McGregor) to recover a diamond. Also the Birds of Prey have a subplot each all connected to this story.

The constant narration and fourth wall-breaking, as well our antihero protagonist protecting a younger child and making a team at the end, smacks too much of the Deadpool films, but all the wonderful women are on top form. Mary Elizabeth Winstead is fantastic (as always) as the Huntress, as are Jurnee Smollett as Black Canary and Rosie Perez as detective Renee Montoya, and to my surprise, so is Ewan McGregor! The action is ridiculous, the characters are fun, the story is a mess but so fast you don't have time to care that much about it... it's just a shame that "those" youtubers (you know the ones I mean) couldn't stop whining about it's existence from day one and kept trying to compare it to... Sonic the Hedgehog?

Aquaman

I thought this movie was going to be a giant pile of shit. I really really did. I mocked it, I scoffed at it, I rolled my eyes, I did all the stuff. Then I finally sat down and watched it and (Aqua)man... I had a lot of fun! Yes there are problems, plenty of them, but it was a fun ride that fully endeared me to the character of Aquaman and I am sure he will be remembered well for years to come... wait, there's a new cartoon that looks like absolute dogshit? Well, forget that then!

Set after the Justice League movie we totally all cared about, Arthur Curry/Aquaman returns and finds himself in a dramatic battle against his brother Orm Marius/Ocean Master (Patrick Wilson) over the fate of Atlantis and the surface world. Along for the ride are his love interest and princess Hera (Amber Heard), his childhood mentor Nuidis Vulko (Willem Dafoe) and his future archenemy David Kane/Black Manta (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II).

Thanks to the directing of James Wan, the action is utterly fantastic and easy to follow, making a huge difference from the majority of superhero movies, and they actually made Black freaking Manta look cool in live-action, although Ocean Master looks and sounds utterly hilarious to me. If they could have cut the film down by around 20 minutes, removed that pointless Trench scene, and maybe give Black Manta some more time to develop as a character instead of waiting for the sequel, we could have had a film in the top 2!

Wonder Woman

Oooh so close to number 1! If it wasn't for that damn third act that completely affects my enjoyment of the movie as a whole, this would easily have made it to the top spot. After the terrible excuses for movies that were Batman vs Superman and Suicide Squad, it was a thrill to see a film do so damn well both critically and commercially, and remind us that live-action DC films still have a chance to succeed. 

When World War 1 pilot Steve Trevor crashes on an all-woman island, he meets our protagonist Diana/Wonder Woman and informs her about the great war that's taken over the planet. Believing this to be caused by the God of War Ares, Diana grabs the legendary sword known as the "God-killer" and takes her first trip into 1918.

The action is amazing, with the No Man's Land scene being a particular highlight, and the chemistry between the two leads is so well-written, especially by comparison of it's sequel. There's a fitting balance of thrills and darkness here for this adventure, never going too dark but always keeping the stakes high... and then it all falls apart when a giant monologuing bore shows up to undermine the message of World War 1 and we get a terribly anticlimactic final fight. The CGI bodybuilder physique with that particular actor's head is just embarrassing too.

The Suicide Squad

We end this list with almost the exact same title as we began it, but with an extra "The" at the beginning so we know this is the real experience that audiences deserve. Much like the Justice League's final cut, this is a director unrestrained and allowed to do everything he could ever hope for, except instead of slow-motion overkill and literal overkill of enemies, this is James Gunn with full wackiness and absurdity, and it makes for a great time!

In this sequel/reboot/spinoff, Viola Davis returns as Amanda Waller, but this time she has a mission for her Suicide Squad that actually does feel like a suicide mission this time. To find out what's going on with Project Starfish, Waller sends out not-Deadshot assassin with a daughter Bloodsport (Idris Elba), Amazon Prime's version of Captain America, Peacemaker, (John Cena), the teenage animal lover Ratcatcher 2 (Daniela Melchior), the return of Rick Flag (Joel Kinnaman) and Margot Robbie's Harley Quinn. And theyend up looking like the normal ones when we get to meet King Shark (Sylvester Stallone) and Polka-Dot Man (David Dastmalchian). Oh and Peter Capaldi shows up as the Thinker to steal a scene because Peter Capaldi is awesome and he can make even the worst episode of Doctor Who cool by delivering a speech or two.

The DCEU is such a mess these days that I appreciate the films most when they're able to play up their absurdity. Billy has to say "Shazam!" to transform, Wonder Woman actually does have a golden lasso that makes you tell the truth, Aquaman wears the gold shirt and it somehow looks awesome! And The Suicide Squad understands that, but also makes sure not to lose the heart we've come to expect from a team-up movie like this. I do think the hype of having a full James Gunn experience did hurt this film a little and raised expectations a bit too much, but I had a great time and I would hate for people to miss out.