Saturday, May 13, 2023

My Ranking of Marvel's Phase 4

Phasers set to stunning.

What better time is there to release my sorting of every fudging piece of MCU's phase 4, than when phase 5's second film has been out for nearly two weeks? Don't answer that, it's rhetorical and my ego can't take it. Instead, please focus on the huge HUGE list I spent far too long ranking for no reason but my own hang-ups, and try to enjoy them. Remember, every opinion is unique so don't freak out when you see a few surprising choices.

Note: Phase 4 of the MCU covers everything released by Marvel Studios from 2021 to 2022. From Wandavision and Black Widow, to Black Panther: Wakanda Forever and the Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special.


Thor: Love and Thunder

I think most people were looking forward to this one, after the amazing writing and enjoyment of Thor Ragnarok. Unfortunately, after the terrific opening scene that establishes Gorr's motives and breakdown, everything takes a tumble. Some of these special effects are horrendous, especially for a movie that cost $250 million to make, and the jokes have become surprisingly obnoxious. Like the goats. I hate these fucking goats, man, I can't stress that enough. I hate them so much, and I was so excited for Thor to have the two goats. Now I wish they were dead. They might actually be the worst part of any MCU project so far and I'm not kidding.

Almost every single scene crams in a joke, usually an unfunny one, and so many of the characters go a sentence or two longer than necessary, as if the concept of comedy is just to keep talking until we're all uncomfortable or tired. Even Korg, voiced by the director Taika Watiti himself, becomes an annoying presence. Korg, one of the best comic relief characters from phase 3, is now annoying! How did that happen?! 

But there are some positives. Chris Hemsworth and Natalie Portman finally have the chemistry they deserve, some of the cinematography is stunning (like the scenes in the Shadow Realm), the climax alongside Guns N' Roses guitar is the type of over-the-top fun I come to these films for, and the final scene between Thor, Jane and Gorr is surprisingly emotional and effective. If the rest of the film had been as strong as that, Thor 4/Thour would be in a very different spot on this list.


I am Groot

Disney+ have had a wide range of content over the past couple of years, but one of their more underrated releases tends to be the amount of shorts they produce. Zootopia got some, Baymax got some (which were awesome by the way!), and the MCU got their own in the form of I am Groot. Six short but sweet animated episodes focused on the baby version of the tree as he sets out to cause mischief, intentionally or otherwise.

None of the other Guardians of the Galaxy show up, aside from one cameo at the very end, and the animation is obviously not at the level of the big-budget movies released in cinemas, but you expected that really. It's just some extra "Baby Groot being cute" content, and that's about it. There's an episode where he plays with a weird bath, another where he dances against a clone of himself, and other stuff like that.

The reason I put this so low is because at the end of the day, what makes it charming is also what makes it forgettable. I am Groot takes less than 30 minutes to watch in total, and none of them go beyond the goal of "Baby Groot being cute". Which is fine. Sometimes a series should just be fluff, but fluff is what it is at the end of the day and I can't give fluff anything higher than a decent nod before I return to whatever I was doing beforehand. 


Black Widow

Whether you love her or not, I think it's universally agreed that if Black Widow was going to get a film, she should have gotten it literally years ago, but a sexist boss (who thankfully has no input on the MCU anymore), production issues and more led this film to not even be released until it had to be a prequel for the character. Since... you know... she died in Avengers: Endgame!

Set during the aftermath of Captain America: Civil War, Black Widow stars the titular heroine (Scarlett Johannsson) finally on her own adventure and confronting her darkest secrets as she attempts to keep both herself and her sister Yelena (Florence Pugh) from imprisonment or a life of servitude under a tyrant. Chasing after them is the deadly assassin Taskmaster, and the sisters have to team up with the rest of their family, which includes David Harbour's Red Guardian.

Personally, I think the film is just... fine. Some of the action is cool. Most of the accents are terrible. The idea of wiping Taskmaster's personality and turning them into a Terminator was awful, but at least we got Yelena, one of the best new faces of Phase 4, to make up for it. So that's something. Black Widow is harmless enough, a decent two hour watch, but it's forever burdened by the time of it's release and it's place in the franchise. Also it is yet another action film that wastes David Harbour... but hey, could be worse. It could be Hellboy.


Eternals

The worst-reviewed MCU movie so far, with a premise so obviously designed for tv squished into a single movie, and my hopes weren't high for this one. Especially when it started with an exposition dump at the very beginning that showed little confidence and inspired none. But while Eternals is nowhere near the top half of the franchise, I have to admit it was alright. Maybe my expectations were too low, but I found some stuff to enjoy here. Some, let's not get crazy.

The great Celestial has sent a group of immortal Eternals down to Earth, to remove the threat known as the Deviants. After doing so, the Eternals are to wait on Earth for their next order and avoid getting personally involved in all conflicts. Now, it's the year 20?? and the Deviants have somehow returned. Sersi (Gemma Chan), one of the Eternals, heads off to bring the band back together so they can defeat the monsters and discover the truth behind their long silent wait from their God.

I think the biggest frustration about this film can be attributed to how every one of these characters is actually really interesting (except Sprite) and comes across as someone I'd love to have seen be more explored. There's a total of 8 new heroes introduced, on top of all the mythology and the new villains, each with unique powers and motivations and arcs, and that's just too much for one film. I like the performances, Eternals Ikaris (Richard Madden), Gilgamesh (Don Lee), Thena (Angelina Jolie) and Phastos (Brian Tyree Henry) steal the show with their compelling charm and reasonings, and the finale is suitably epic, but Eternals could have been so much more. Hopefully the next time we see them, since the cast are already smaller than before, we'll get a stronger movie. 


Loki

Well, if there is any placement on this list that I know is going to be hit with gasps and shocks and dismissal, it's this one. Yes, I watched Loki and I only found it okay. Some great moments, like the first ever appearance of He Who Remains and the dynamic between Loki (Tom Hiddleston) and Mobius (Owen Wilson) but the rest of it... eeeh it's okay.

Due to the time travelling shenanigans of Avengers: Endgame, the 2012 version of Loki escapes his imprisonment and makes a run for it. He is stopped by the TVA, a team responsible for keeping the timelines in check, and they give him a choice to either be erased from time itself, or to help them capture a dangerous enemy. Loki is paired up with Mobius, and quickly discovers the TVA is much darker than they seem, with secrets and mysteries abound.

While the beginning and ending were full of mystery, unique characters and an interesting expansion of the MCU, the middle portion of the season was long, boring and dragged on. An entire episode based on one of the most boring planets you could have gone for is what sticks out for me as the biggest negative, but there's just so little energy for one of the MCU's biggest wild cards! Hopefully season 2 incorporates more of the joy and wackiness that parts of Loki episode 5 managed. Chances are you disagree, but I have to be honest here.


She-Hulk: Attorney at Law

Oh shut up, it's mostly fun. Is it perfect? God no, but I had a good time for most of this series and it at least did something a bit different and weird. Phase 4's experimentation was very much welcome, for me anyway, and She-Hulk is proof it can be both great and bad at the same time. Some episodes, fantastic. Some others, lame. 

She-Hulk follows Bruce Banner's cousin, Jennifer Walters (Tatiana Maslanay) after a car accident causes his blood to infect her and give her the green enhanced body he's had to live with his whole life. Not suffering from the personality problems however, She-Hulk is able to continue her career as a lawyer and eventually finds herself in a bunch of comedic plots, a rivalry against a celebrity, and the most cringe group of enemies that unfortunately for us all, are a bit too real.

She-Hulk's strengths are largely thanks to Titiania Maslanay, who is utterly fantastic in balancing the comedy, the drama and the commentary throughout the show. Like Robert Downey Jr with Tony Stark and a certain hooded hero we'll get to soon, she carries this show and her fourth wall-breaking nonsense is brilliant, as is her chemistry with her friends, and motherfucking Daredevil! The subplots are mostly terrible however, and some of the middle episodes really do make me roll my eyes, but the episode with the group therapy, the Daredevil episode and that finale are all fantastic and make me glad I stuck it out to the end. Seriously, I can't get over how they did the finale. I just can't. Such a great and bold choice.


What If?

When a comic series goes on too long, so... all of them, they eventually have to pull out the "What If?" card. What if Batman played Crash Bandicoot all the time? What if Dr Manhattan joined the alt-right? What if Thanos fought one of the Joestars? Non-canon scenarios that are usually good for a laugh, or just create a lot of cringe when done poorly. Thankfully, the latter rarely happens in this animated anthology series. Rarely.

Like the comics themselves, What If? follows some non-canon stories based on the MCU movies. We get a relatively safe one with Peggy Carter (Hayley Atwell) becoming the Super Soldier instead of Steve Rogers (Josh Keaton). We get the classic Marvel Zombies storyline that everyone wanted (no idea why, personally), and we get two fantastic storylines featuring a broken-hearted Doctor Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch) and a cocky space-adventuring T'Challa (Chadwick Boseman's final performance). 

While most of the premises themselves are fairly lacking in imagination, a lot is done with each one. T'Challa in Space is hilarious, showing a caring Thanos and a villainous Collector, and the Doctor Strange episode is one of the best episodes of TV provided by the MCU so far, period. Some episodes are lacking however, including the Kilmonger one and the Zombies one, and that animation is... a rough choice. I know it's meant to look like a comic book, and it sometimes presents a lovely-looking scenery or landscape, but those character faces are unwelcome. Still, Uatu the Watcher being voiced by Jeffrey Wright is perfect casting, and my boyfriend Ultron got a lot of love in the finale!


Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

I think we all got a bit over-excited when we first read that title, but in fairness you shouldn't name yourself "Multiverse of Madness" if you aren't going to be about that. The film we got was fine, it was decent, but it was sold as something else and that certainly rubbed people the wrong way. The stuff this film is actually about, like Doctor Strange's inability to open up to love and how it will inevitably drive him to eternal loneliness, is done well enough at least.

Doctor Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch) is back, and completely alone romantically. He's pining for the love of his life, Dr Christine Palmer (, who is now married and moved on. There's no time for wallowing however, as a girl named America Chavez has appeared and is being pursued by Wanda the Scarlet Witch for her ability to cross the multiverse. So it's up to Strange, Chavez, Wong and more to try and stop the most powerful sorceress in the franchise as she massacres a lot of wizards, civilians and cameos to get what she wants.

Getting Sam Raimi to direct this movie makes a lot of it stand out, as the film gets a rather unique horror vibe, from the Raimi-eye camera shots to the surprisingly brutal murders (Black Bolt's in particular gives me nightmares!), but it's Elizabeth Olsen that really steals the show here. Her performance gives us one of the best villains of Phase 4, and the choices made in this film are going to (hopefully) have interesting ramifications for her character when she makes her inevitable return. Oh and the music fight was awesome.


Ms Marvel

I feel like I would have enjoyed this show more if I wasn't feeling the fatigue when this show came around. So many films and shows already done, and we had so many more to go, I was tired. And I'm a Mega Marvel Manly Man, so I can only imagine how a filthy casual must have felt. Ms Marvel does a lot of stuff well, it just came out at a bad time. That's my hot take anyway.

Ms Marvel finally brings out one of the most popular modern Marvel characters, Kamala Khan, and has her begin her origin story, starting out as a superfan of Captain Marvel before eventually discovering her own surprise powers and struggling to fit in to society, while also dealing with some subpar villains and a high-school shenanigans.

Kamala's powers admittedly look pretty ugly, (presumably they made them look so different to avoid the inevitable Mr Fantastic comparisons), but there is at least some creativity going on with them. She comes across like Peter Parker did in Spider-Man Homecoming, young and trying to balance her work life with her social life, and it's very endearing. The villains are a total letdown though, and I did find myself wishing for something a bit... more. Something to really stand out. It might not be as flashy as it could have been, but Ms Marvel does most of it's stuff right and I can't really complain about it. I also adore their representation of different cultures within this film, especially that wedding dance scene. Brilliant.


Moon Knight

Oooh I was looking forward to this one as soon as they announced it. I put Moon Knight next to characters like Ultron, Venom, the X-Men, Black Panther and Namor as someone I'd been begging to get adapted as quickly and awesomely as possible, and he did not disappoint! His finale really did, but everything leading up to that is a great trip and one I'll gladly check it out repeatedly.

Oscar Freaking Isaacs (yes that's his full name) plays a humble British man named Steven Grant, who discovers he has another personality known as Marc Spector, an American mercenary and badass that dons the Moon Knight persona to serve an Egyptian God known as Khonshu. This pits him against the cult leader Harrow (Ethan Hawke), for which he needs his ex-wife Layla (May Calamawy) to help take down.

Moon Knight was easily one of the most atmospheric and dramatic of the MCU TV shows, with Oscar Isaacs delivering a show-stopping performance that honestly deserved all the awards. The suits and action scenes were amazing, and the episodes involving tomb raiding and the afterlife are just utterly wonderful. I just... that damn finale, man. If they hadn't made such a big cop-out at the end of the show, I might have placed this in the top 5. 


The Falcon and the Winter Soldier

You know when something comes out, everyone enjoys it, then four months later there's a sudden community devoted to hating it? That's what I felt happened to this show, which my mother accidentally called Winter Falcon and the Snowman so that's now my preferred title. I loved this show though, I still do, and I am nothing but honest about what I like and dislike.

Sam Wilson/Falcon (Anthony Mackie) returns after the passing of the shield in Endgame, but he's unsure about the ramifications of having a black man literally call themselves "Captain America", and the responsibility that entails, so he hands it over to the government, enraging Bucky "Winter Soldier" Barnes (Sebastian Stan). Things get even more heated when the government soldier John Walker (Wyatt Russell) is chosen to be the next Captain America, and goes against a group known as the Flag-Smashers. Also Baron Zemo (Daniel Bruhl) returns.

The social commentary is raw and on point, a real surprise to audiences who were expecting a casual banter-filled ride from beginning to end, and the scenes where Sam meets with an elderly super soldier with a much different history than what Steve Rogers got... well, let's just say I was entranced every time. The action is surprisingly awesome too, and Sam and Bucky show off that fun dynamic that got them this show in the first place. I am really damn eager for the next Captain America film in 2024, and whatever else may come our way with these characters.


Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special

Taking advantage of the new Disney+ streaming service, Marvel and James Gunn teamed up for the second-last time to deliver a surprisingly enjoyable and over-the-top Christmas special, with the biggest sin being that I can only watch it once a year. Oh and like a certain other special that we'll get to eventually, I keep having to tell people it actually exists and sound like a lunatic as I recommend this experience.

Star-Lord/Peter Quill (Chris Pratt) has been feeling down lately over the situation with Gamora (Zoe Saldana) that was caused by Avengers: Infinity War and Endgame, so Mantis (Pom Klementieff) takes it upon herself to cheer him up by going to Earth and kidnapping his childhood hero from his favourite movie of all time, Footloose. Drax (Dave Bautista) comes along to help Mantis out and help her kidnap Kevin Bacon.

Mantis is a surprising scene-stealer in both this and the third Guardians of the Galaxy film, with so much energy and movement to her body and face, as well as a heartfelt platonic friendship with Drax that is very much welcome. Admittedly, some of the banter starts to get a bit much, but Kevin Bacon plays along with these shenanigans wonderfully, and once again James Gunn manages to incorporate heart into the weirdest of scenarios and characters. That opening song by the Old 97's is also a treat. 


Hawkeye

I liked Clint Barton (Jeremy Renner) as much as the next handsome guy, but I don't think any of us were clamouring for him to get a central storyline, especially since most of us were feeling like the original Avengers line-up was finished. But I give everything a try at least once, so Christmas came along and introduced us to this series... this awesome series that kicks more arse than it bloody deserved to!

Kate Bishop (Hailee Steinfield) grows up as a mega-fan of the superhero Hawkeye, which is hard to believe but moving on, and finds herself the target of a conspiracy involving the murder of a family friend, while also wearing the Ronin outfit that Clint wanted to forget ever existed, causing him to get involved with the story. Things get worse for him when villains created by his past, including the show-stealing Echo (Alaqua Cox), come out to take Clint down, and anyone associated with him.

Marvel is at it's best when it takes concepts like the Pym Particles and makes them seem like something you would want to do despite how dorky they might seem at first glance, and that happens a lot in this show with how Kate and Clint use their arrows. There's a great sense of humour that never interferes with the stakes established, a few surprising villains during the finale, and I can never tire of the "reluctant grump training a young apprentice" trope. Somehow, against all odds, Hawkeye became one of the best MCU tv shows so far, and it is absolutely worth a watch... in December.


Wandavision

But the best MCU TV show so far has to go to the one that started it all, the big kahuna, Wandavision, starring Wanda Maximoff, Vision, and a crew of set designers that are masters of their department, as they painstakingly get every era of tv sitcom visually perfect. A lot of people already loved Wanda and Vision, but it was this show that made me realise just how great they were, and how great the tv format could be for Marvel's future.

After the heartbreaking results in Endgame, Wanda is now living in the 1950s with her robot husband Vision, and has to try and hide her own magical powers from the ordinary neighbours. No wait, it's actually the 1960s... the 1970s... actually, we're in Malcolm in the Middle. Actually, it's Modern Family. Or is it something else even weirder than a sitcom?!

Yeah, if you haven't seen this show somehow then I recommend watching it because having it spoiled would suck. There's a great air of mystery and intrigue building up with every single episode, and Wanda and Vision have a wonderful dynamic together, but the true winner in this show is the portrayal of grief, loss and coping mechanisms that cause us to hurt both ourselves and everyone around us. It's too bad the ending is weak sauce, and the new Dr Strange film arguably did more harm than good to this series, but everything leading up to it is masterful and a great reminder of why we put up with Marvel's low points.


Black Panther: Wakanda Forever

This phase is too damn long, guys... but anyway, we're nearly there! And thankfully, the final movie of phase 4 did not disappoint, which was doubly-impressive because we were not only dealing with far too much content at the time, but the tragic passing of Chadwick Boseman and the introduction of one of Marvel's most complex characters; Namor the Sub-Mariner.

King T'Challa (Chadwick Boseman) has died, and Ramonda (Angela Bassett) has taken the throne as her daughter Shuri (Letita Wright) is obsessed with her studies and refusing to let herself mourn. This is when Namor (Tenoch Huerta) appears out of the water and says that because of Wakanda revealing itself, his own kingdom Talokan is now at risk, and he wants a scientist named Riri Williams (Dominique Thorne) dead for this.

The film is completely respectful of Boseman's passing, and wonderfully directed by the returning Ryan Coogler. Different portrayals of grief are portrayed by every actor who are doing their damned best in every scene, and that Black Panther suit is awesome. A strong, emotional film that closed off a complicated phase of the MCU with the right amount of grace, dignity and drama.


Werewolf by Night

I feel like the only person who watched this special, but I will defend it until the day I die, it's fantastic. So fantastic that I actually put it in my top 3 of this phase, and despite it being a Halloween special, I watch it any day I damn well please! That's how good it is! Michael Giacchino's directional debut (If you don't know the name, you definitely know his music) is a great sign for his career in this path. And for Marvel in general if they decide to go further into this route in the future.

After the passing of the patriarch of the Bloodstone family, five monster hunters gather at his manor to decide who will be the next user of the Bloodstone jewel itself. As the night goes on and death occurs at every turn, Jack Russell Gael Garcia Bernal) and Elsa Bloodstone (Laura Donnelly) find themselves needing to team up to survive the monster that is prowling around...

The atmosphere and aesthetic is top-notch, perfectly reminiscent of horror classics like Wolfman and Dracula, with the black-and-white filter and homages showing a clear love for the genre. I love seeing the practical effects, the cunning use of cinematography, the violent scenes... it's just all so good! I'm being vague on purpose, because I want you to experience this for yourself with as little knowledge about it beforehand as you can get. Here's hoping this is just the first step in the Midnight Suns getting their deserved time in the spotlight.


Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

The Guardians of the Galaxy, Ant-Man, Korg, Ned Leeds... it's the characters we least expect that usually end up being great, and that rule applies to Shang-Chi (Simu Liu) too. What is hopefully the first of a long and enjoyable superhero career, Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings quickly defines itself as a great instalment in Marvel's franchise.

Hiding out in San Francisco, Shang-Chi is suddenly attacked by his father's mercenaries, and forced to reveal his martial arts to his friend Katy (Awkwafina), and meet up with his sister Xu Xialing (Meng-er Zhang) to stop his father Xu Wenwu (Tony Leung) from using the power of the Ten Rings to cause a disaster.

Wenwu is one of Marvel's best antagonists, delivering heart and relatable motivations alongside his badass fight scenes. Speaking of fight scenes, the choreography is great every time, and Shang-Chi quickly makes himself a likeable and endearing protagonist that sets himself apart from the others. Also I just love Awkwafina! Her presence just makes everything better. This is a winner of a film, and I sincerely hope the sequels make sure to not overdo the CGI during the finale like this one unfortunately did.


Spider-Man: No Way Home

At the end of the day, I can't fight my instincts. I can't fight myself. I have to say which one I enjoyed the most, and that was the final film of a surprisingly complicated and unexpected origin story for Tom Holland's Spider-Man. Werewolf by Night, Shang-Chi, even Eternals, everything on this list delivers at least something enjoyable, but for me, they all lost to my favourite superhero, at least for me.

After the shocking twist of Far from Home, in which Peter Parker's identity was revealed to the world and he was framed as a murderer, things are only getting worse and worse for him and his friends. Desperate to get everyone he cares about out of this situation, he begs Dr Strange for help. A spell goes wrong, and now villains from other universes are coming into the MCU to wreak havoc, mayhem and fanservice.

That's actually unfair, to me, to focus so much on the fanservice. While it is true that fans like myself absolutely cheered at the returns of Willem Dafoe's Green Goblin, Alfred Molina's Doctor Octopus, Jamie Foxx's Electro and more, the film deserves more credit than it is given for everything else it does right too. The moral "with great power comes great responsibility" has never been better represented in movies than it was with how Peter makes up for his foolish mistakes, the acting is phenomenal, and the emotions are strong across the board. I laughed, I cried, I pumped my fist in glee. This film is awesome, and truly deserving of my favourite project of Phase 4.


And that's my final ranking! Please give me money for doing this! Thanks for reading, guys, see you next time!

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