Top 10 Worst DC Movies

Written by Shiggins

DC's turn!

Well, I did Marvel's worst movies ever (CLICK HERE), and Shazam! is now coming to cinemas with positive reviews, so now is as good a time as any to write up the DC version! And while DC has had some of the finest comic-book movies in history, such as 1978's Superman and the Dark Knight, it has had a beautifully painful history of bad ones too, with a few far too recent ones for my liking. Anyway, no point wasting time. The ten worst DC movies!

10. Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice

After the divisive Man of Steel, Warner Bros decided to immediately dive in to the deep end by adapting one of the most complex crossover stories in DC history, finally bringing their two biggest characters together in one epic story. At the same time, they also introduced Lex Luthor, Wonder Woman, teased the Justice League, brought in Doomsday, and you can already see the biggest problems.

While there are some amazing scenes, (the opening Metropolis carnage, and Batman in the warehouse spring to mind), Batman vs Superman; Dawn of Justice is a mess with too much going on, so very little of it being executed right, and yet somehow managing to be boring at the same time. Jesse Eisenberg is horrendous as Lex, Doomsday is downright awful in every way, there is no levity or light, and the actions of these heroes that bring them to fight with each other is so contrived and embarrassing that it's no wonder we all remember the infamous "MARTHA!" more than the built-up fight itself. Seriously, Superman, you're getting killed. Why did you say that name?

Ben Affleck's Batman, the one aspect of the film I thought would be awful, is surprisingly the best, but he isn't enough to save it, and while Zack Snyder can be a great director, but he was clearly the wrong choice for these heroes and this universe. The attempts to replicate Christopher Nolan's works is transparent, and it brings down what could have been the start of an exciting series of movies. At least Wonder Woman was fun though.


9. Batman Forever

I admit that, as a kid, this was a Batman movie for me. And while your childhood nostalgia might keep you from agreeing with me, it doesn't mean you can turn around and call the movie good, especially since it follows the epicness of Tim Burton's movies that brought Batman to the dark screen. In this child-friendly film, Val Kilmer plays Bruce Wayne/Batman as he goes up against Tommy Lee Jones' Harvey Dent/Two Face, and Jim Carrey's Edward Nygma/Riddler.

The production design and Carrey's hammy acting is actually quite fun sometimes, but it's also a very obnoxious film at times, especially when Tommy Lee Jones ruins what is effectively one of Batman's most interesting enemies. Lights are flashing constantly in your face, the "Box" is not actually shaped like a box for some reason, and the less said about Chris O'Donnell as Robin the better. In fact, despite it spending so much time building him up to be a needed partner and sidekick, Robin is actually detrimental to the climax and makes it harder for Batman to save the day!

Nowhere near the worst superhero movie ever made, but it was certainly a disappointment. While it's fine for the kids, it was the first real step to making Batman a joke in the eyes of anyone over the age of twelve, which almost seemed like the goal considering they cast Jim Carrey. And if you still refuse to believe this film is bad, check out what Batman's first line in the film is.


8. Suicide Squad

Now that DC are rebooting this one-"hit"-franchise with James Gunn, can we all admit that Suicide Squad supremely sucks squid shit? Somehow, people thought this was an improvement over that year's previous DCEU movie, Batman vs Superman, and I proudly disagree with them. What could have been a fun, badass movie, in which villains of the DC roster are used to carry out dangerous missions against their will, turned into an embarrassing cringe-fest that is only worsened the more you remember it.

Jared Leto's Joker is boring and unnecessary, and everyone else is given the "Hollywood Evil" treatment, in which they are not allowed to be truly evil because then we might not root for them. Will Smith's Deadshot is fun because it's Will Smith, but if you try to tell me he's a real villain, as he refuses to shoot women or kids and only shoots one bad guy and does it all because he has a daughter and probably gives to charity on weekends, then you're having a laugh, mate.

And quite frankly, the team has no reason to exist. The villains fight a forgettable antagonist that was created because Amanda Waller, the only interesting antagonist in the movie, tried to create the Suicide Squad in the first place. The main villain, the Enchantress, is about as forgettable and uninteresting an enemy as you can get, and nobody else in the cast is charismatic enough to make up for it. What a waste of time.


7. The Killing Joke

Mark Hamill and Kevin Conroy should not be anywhere near this list, but the failure of DC's The Killing Joke is so monumental that not even they could save it. What should have been the easiest project to make successful, adapting what is arguably the greatest Batman comic of all time into a classic-style comic, somehow became a pit of despair and agony for all who watched it, including me!

You see, the film would have been too short if it only adapted the comic, so the "writers" of this abomination decided to include an entirely unnecessary prelude, in which Barbara Gordon/Batgirl fights a new villain called Paris Franz (No, seriously) and has sex with Batman, then spends the remainder of the story pining and whining over him until she's shot, at which point its almost a mercy firing because from her romcom-style dialogue to her creepy relationship(?) with her mentor to her amazingly stereotypical gay friend, you'd swear the people behind this were trying to get you to hate her.

As for the rest of the film, it's passable but bland. Nothing deserving of the Killing Joke comic shows up, and the animation struggles to live up to Brian Bolland's fantastic standards. It's not awful, and is certainly watchable, but the first 45 minutes of the Killing Joke is so painful on every level, especially when you realise this film came out in 2016, that it's almost an insult to the comic. It's definitely an insult to the characters though.


6. Steel

I've never read the comics of DC's Steel, but the pictures I have seen are nothing like this! Instead of a badass knight with a hammer of death, we got... Shaquille O'Neil. One of DC's biggest box office bombs, and it's almost insane to think that because the film is so obviously bad that I'm surprised more people didn't go see it purely for the laughs.

Originally planned as a spinoff for a Superman movie that never came, Steel was rushed to release in 1997 and was a major splash in the wave of superhero movies that killed off the entire for nearly a decade. You see, Shaq plays John Henry Irons, who discovers a criminal is building weapons and so he teams up with a little girl in a wheelchair to build a suit of armour and kick ass with it!

The suit itself is everything you need to know about this movie, with its rubbery material and shoddy design, but there's plenty of other stuff to laugh at as well. For example, every time Shaq opens his mouth and does some "acting", or the fact that his sidekick is nicknamed Sparky, or just... everything! The idea that anyone would be intimidated by this fool running down the street is funny, and it only gets funnier when he's up-close and doing his damn hardest to deliver a one-liner. Shaq-fu, this ain't.


5. Jonah Hex

Does anyone remember when we had to put up with Hollywood films pretending that Megan Fox was a good actress, even though we all knew she was getting roles off of her looks alone? Thank God that dark time is over with, because if we had to put up with more films like Jonah Hex, then I think the movie industry would suffer. It might seem unfair to blame her alone for this though, since there is plenty of blame to go around, but I just can't be mean towards Josh Brolin!

Based on the cult classic DC hero, Jonah Hex stars Josh Brolin as the titular antihero, scarred on his face and out for revenge against John Malkovich for the death of his family and blah blah blah, you've heard this plot a billion times in every single Bruce Willis movie. As a lover of western movies, especially when they have the Infinity Stones to go a bit silly, you can see why I might have thought this film could be good... you can also see that I was wrong.

Despite the fantastic cast, including Michael Fassbender, Will Arnett and Wes Bentley, none of the performances are worth remembering. The action is boring, the drama ridiculous, the story uninspired, and it takes what can be a very cool character and turns him and his world into one as dry as the west they ride on. And if you don't have the balls to make Megan Fox look at least slightly unattractive, then don't cast her as the character that's meant to have scars and a missing eye.


4. Green Lantern

So here's a fun story for you. I was super excited to see this movie, while my friend was excited to see Captain America: The First Avenger. We compromised and agreed to see both. He was absolutely right. I was absolutely wrong. I was so wrong that Ryan Reynolds would literally have his character Deadpool shoot the lead actor of this movie in the head before he could star in it. What was that actor called again...?

Released in 2011, this movie is often remembered as the reason nobody takes the Green Lantern hero seriously anymore. He has become the new Aquaman. He was made fun of in both Deadpool movies and Teen Titans Go, has never gotten a sequel, and is probably the reason why DC are so hesitant to make a new movie about him, which is a shame because his comics can be really interesting and unique. This film is why we haven't gotten a great non-Marvel superhero sci-fi in years! Probably!

Despite having the potential to be a unique experience, Green Lantern is as generic and disappointing as DC movies can get. Ugly to look at, fails at humour, and it somehow managed to take away the charm and likeability that these actors usually possess. Mark Strong as Sinestro should have been the ultimate casting, but I actually forgot he was in this movie as a giant turd-cloud tried to destroy the Earth for some reason. That's how bad this movie is!


3. Batman & Robin

And here it is! The men! The legends! The film that destroyed the genre, with its overuse of Bat-Nipples, Bat-Credit Cards and Bat-Booty! You all knew it had to be here somewhere, and you can't deny it deserves to be, even if it is a hell of a good film to watch with friends and a tank of oxygen for those episodes where you can't breathe from laughing so hard.

Directed by Joel Schumcher, who has already appeared on this list with Batman Forever, Batman & Robin stars George Clooney as the first titular hero, Chris O'Donnell returning as the latter, Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy, a block of wood as Bane, and the fantastic unforgettable performance by Arnold Schwarzeneggar as the pun-spewing Mr Freeze! And yes, I still use those puns to this day.

My complaints are your complaints. The story makes no sense, Robin's whining is painful to the ears, several of Batman's best characters are reduced to clowns (how ironic), and the nipples... oh, the nipples! There's not much else to say about this film that hasn't been said already. If you ever want a reminder about why you should be grateful for the MCU and the Dark Knight trilogy, I insist you watch this again. In fact, just watch it again! It's bad, but it's also hilarious!


2. Catwoman

In my Worst Marvel movies list, I said Elektra was part of the reason that female-led superhero movies never got taken seriously. Well, here is the main girl that caused the infamous reputation, in all her fetish-leather glory. A movie that had been stuck in development hell since the goddess Michelle Pfieffer wore the latex, Catwoman was given an abysmal response from critics and audiences alike, and was so bad that lead actress Halle Berry accepted her Razzie for it proudly.

In this incarnation, Selina Kyle is now a shy and insecure woman called Patience Phillips, and she is given the powers of a cat when she is nearly killed by her corporate boss and is breathed back to life by a stray cat that happens to come across her. Patience starts to act all tough and even commit robberies as if she has gained a second personality, before she eventually goes up against her evil boss Sharon Stone, who is going to make lots of money by selling evil make-up.... I don't know if writing the plot does the stupidity justice, honestly.

If you can't tell the movie is awful by the premise alone, you must have one of the most optimistic disorders imaginable. From awful dialogue and fairly likeable actors who have clearly given up trying to make this work, to hilariously bad CGI and designs, Catwoman is a joke of a film. And unlike Batman and Robin, it's not even a fun joke. It's boring, lame, and is trying to be about empowering women but makes it all about make-up in the end, so it's stupid on top of all that other stuff. Me-ouch.


1. Superman IV: Quest for Peace

A film so bad that I actually love it, Superman IV was perhaps the most tragic end that could have been given to the long-running dynamic of Christopher Reeves and Gene Hackman. In many ways, it's almost inspiring to watch such an obvious failure be released to the world, as if the bar had been lowered so hard that we (hopefully) could never crash as hard as this did.

Superman is living his life as a hero, until he receives a letter from a random schoolboy who asks him to intervene in the potential nuclear war between America and the Soviet Union. Deciding it's his responsibility as a hero to do so, Superman takes literally every single nuclear weapon off of the planet, places them in a giant net, and then throws them into the sun. Meanwhile, Lex Luthor and his nephew Lenny work together to create a new villain called Nuclear Man, who has the voice of Lex, fabulously long fingernails and can only be defeated by keeping him out of sunlight.

Everything about this film is amazing, in the worst possible ways, and in so many that I couldn't even list them all. Superman's eyebeams can suddenly repair the Great Wall of China. The politics involved in removing nuclear weapons are ignored, even though it could potentially be catastrophic for the world. Nuclear Man's design is hilarious, and watching a young Jon Cryer giggle next to Gene Hackman as they act like this secretary-nailed antagonist is a threat... Honestly, how can you not adore this masterpiece? You will truly believe a man can fail.

Honourable Mentions: 

Supergirl

Superman III

Batman and Harley Quinn

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Born under the stars of the Dark Gods, Shiggins owns the power of the Great Eye and is utterly magnificent in his omniscience. If you dare to discover more about someone as great as him, then go ahead. And to all my friends and family members, YOU are wrong and I should be disappointed! Not the other way round!,. You can find out about him or ask him stuff on ask.fm/shigginsishere or go to his tumblr page http://otakugajeel.tumblr.com/