Why Sai is Fucking Awesome

Written by: Micha

Sai is one of the many characters in Naruto who gave me the impression of an excellent shinobi. He is also one of the very few characters in the fandom who is neither overrated nor underrated and I must say that his nature is very thrilling and- UGGH FUCK this politeness! Sai is FUCKING awesome shit!

You wanna know why? I’ll fucking tell you why!  

1. He always has a badass fake smile. Now tell me that this doesn’t turn you on. He has a bitching fake smile on his face ALL THE FUCKING TIME that puts fucking Elton John to shame! He can say “I killed your puppy.” and still be giving you that hot shit ass smile as if he had recently discovered the fucking marijuana!

      2. He has a sexy hot wardrobe. I’ll give you all males 500 bucks to walk around the city for a week wearing a shirt showing your belly. You can’t tolerate that, but Sai can. Why? Because he’s simply one badass motherfucker!! There’s nothing more badass than not having a six pack but having the fucking guts to show it to the fucking whole world. This motherfucker is just so fucking sexy like that.

3. Sai can fly. Like he can go up the sky on his ink birdie and fucking fly! Like this bastard carries a portable plane in his pocket or some shit. What’s fucking more, he can literally be high without that shit marijuana he just discovered. Hail Satan, 'cause this awesome ass can fucking literally look down his nose at you as he travels  while you bitches stay on Earth digging shit in Arab countries to find motherfucking fossils. When one day you walk around the park and a bird poops ink on your jacket instead of actual poop, you’ll know what awesome shit is really going on.

   

4. He shows no emotion what-so-fucking-ever. Sai is one of the few who were raised to be a fucking asshole. And an asshole he is. Bitches like Sasuke and Itachi acts all badass but they fucking cry. This asshole never cries! Like he can kill the other puppy you adopted again after he killed your previous one, and Not. Give. A. Fucking. Shit! Because this asshole defines the motherfucking word ‘asshole’ in the motherfucking dictionary!

  

5. He uses awesome crap to paint. Not awesome, you say? Look at this shit!

       I don’t know the genius who invented this shit but it looks fucking ancient. Ordinary people like you use some branded paint brush and a big ass sheet stuck to some shit stand but this hot shit uses a fucking prehistoric ink brush which hides all the way inside that badass scroll like a fifteen year old’s dick goes all the way in some old woman’s vagina. Tell me if that is not what you want in your favorite character.

6. Sai comes up with very relevant pet names. You call people cutie pie, or sweetheart, or jumba-juice or some weird shit like that. But NO! This hot ass calls his team mate ‘dickless’. And the main character of the series, at that. What’s more, he called that pink haired bitch a ‘hag’ and that overweight dude a ‘fatass’. Baby, it takes hot guts and creativity to come up with awesome and so true nicknames like that shit. Ever wonder what he would say if he saw you?

  

7. His brother is dead. He has a dead brother. He has a brother who is dead. And they’re not even fucking related by blood but he drew some really sentimental shit in his art book of them holding hands. Now that’s some hot pain in his life or some shit.

  

8. He’s pale as shit. He’s like so so fucking pale that you can put him next to a white wall and you won’t even recognize the real shit. People say it’s some disease in his blood or something but I think he uses some kind of women’s face cream or some shit like that. Because he’ll do that. Fucking  believe me.

  

9. He has no last name. How fucking cool is that?? No wait, I don’t think he has a name at all. Because apparently Danzo gave him a name for his mission or some shit, so technically the only “Nameless Shinobi” in the Naruto world might be this asshole.

  

10. His art becomes alive! Can you believe that? Like he draws some crap and it comes to fucking life! He can draw your fucking penis and even make it talk or something.

 

Micha: [Co-founder]









Micha likes to broadcast her terrible drawing skills to the world on her DeviantArt account and talks about her life long ambition of making Yakushi Kabuto a woman, on her Skype; michasucks. Yes, with the dot. She will also respond to e-mails on her michamichamicha@live.com because Amber forces her to.

 Also, she now has an ask.fm. Here's your chance to  harass her.

Sorry for the excessive foul language in this article. Wait, this doesn't even qualify for an article. I wrote this in a very ancient day (seriously, there wasn't even OtakuNuts then) while I was not really "right in the head," and never had the mind to post it on here.

Yeah..... Shiggins is gonna kill me.

Happy New Year's, motherfuckers.