Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Top 10 Best & 5 Worst One Piece Villains

Written by Shiggins

One Piece recently had it's 20th anniversary (Christ, and it's still going on...), so it's only fair that we publish an article to celebrate the best part of the series: The villains!

However, just praising the villains isn't any fun, so let's mix it up a bit by also adding in the five worst of the bunch! But the bad kind of worst! The unlikable and annoying worst, rather than the fun kind of worst that we actually love to hate. As always, spoilers ahead!

Aww, they all look so happy at their little tea party.
Worst Villains

5. Lao G

The Dressrosa Arc was one of One Piece's biggest, packed with some of the most interesting villains and reintroducing characters long-thought dead. It even brought back Jesus Burgess. And I like Jesus. He's a Mexican wrestler pirate! That's just brilliant. However, this arc also introduced a slew of new villains and one of the worst, by far, is the old man Lao G.

An old man with muscles?! IN AN ANIME?! Has science truly come this far?!
The joke is that he is old. That's it. He is an old man who can beat you up, and that apparently is enough to give him tons of screentime where he beats people up constantly. The final climax of Dressrosa is a mess because of how many characters there are, and a character like Lao G only served to waste space and time. Nothing interesting or unique comes to mind when I think about this old bastard, and the sooner he is placed in a care home, the better.



4. Hody Jones

When you are a villain who is constantly being compared to a previous villain, that just shows how ineffectual you are. And that is just one of the many problems Hody Jones provides. Serving as the main antagonist of the Fishman Island Arc, Hody Jones is essentially "Arlong 2.0", which the arc is quick to remind you of at every opportunity it can get.

Oh and he wears a fur scarf. That's like... the dickiest thing ever.
His powers are basically the same as Arlong's but with the extra addition of taking steroids that make his hair turn white and his eyes red. Even with the powers of the far superior Arlong, Hody's battles are all the exact same; He is hit, gets back up, gets hit, gets back up, gets hit, gets back up. Sadly, the most interesting thing about Hody is his motivation itself to kill all the humans, which is ironic because, as the series so eloquently put it, the humans did nothing to him. Seeing how far Hody has gone for power while blaming and demonising humans for his own goals, when in reality he feels nothing but indifference for them, is actually quite profound and a startling reflection on people in today's society. And that is why Hody Jones isn't in the top 3 worst villains.



3. The Celestial Dragons

What if rich politicians got to treat you the way they truly wanted to? Well, I think they would be like these bastards, literally riding poorer folk like horses and putting slaves in fish tanks for their own giddy amusement. Their ruthlessness is as disgusting as their designs, and almost all of them are portrayed as indefensible pigs with zero regard to lives other than their own.

I gotta admit though. That punch is freaking beautiful.
While these pieces of shit are perfect at their job, being bastards, that doesn't make them any less bearable during their scenes. Almost every major villain in this series has a goal and motivation, but these bubble-headed freaks are just crapbaskets for the sake of it. I'm sure that's the point the writers were going for, but that doesn't make them any less irritating. An intentionally-annoying character is still an annoying character. And when compared to the parade of villains that One Piece can boast, these shallow pricks came up dry.


2. Caribou

When you have an arc as ridiculously packed as the Fishman Island Arc, the last thing you should say to yourself is "let's add another villain!". Between Hody Jones, his henchmen, Vander Decken, finding Jinbe, the drama about the mother and the prejudices towards humans, this arc was more than busy enough to not need a nuisance like Caribou pop up.

I'll be honest with you. The only reason he's not my least favourite villain is because of how much I hate 1st place, and the joke involving the barrel. That shit was funny.
Ugly, stupid and doing nothing for nobody, Caribou is a selfish murderer who wants to try to capture some mermaids and sell them off in an auction. You get the impression that he is meant to represent how humans treat the fishmen of the world, but he doesn't appear in the main plot when the crew arrive at Fishmen Island and far more interesting characters have filled the role of fish-hater long before him. In the end, Caribou was exactly like his power; A pointless mess.


1. Senor Pink

He dresses like his dead baby.

I feel like I could leave it there, but let's continue for the sake of this article. A rude member of Doflamingo's crew, Senor Pink has the power to swim through land like it was made of water and battled Franky during the finale of the Dressrosa arc. He is constantly adored by women, being considered manly and heroic as he wants to save a cat in danger during their fight and is relieved when he hears there is no old lady in danger during the battle.

Oh sure. A dick like him gets all the girls while I get friendzoned AGAIN! TCH! *fedora on!*
Unfortunately, that just makes him a hypocritical dick. He is knowingly working for one of the biggest criminals of the entire series and is fighting to protect Doflamingo's schemes, which included a giant "birdcage" that would tear everyone apart. So he was protecting a cat while helping to slaughter an entire city... Okay.

The real clincher for me though is the dead baby aspect. There are some who will call me a heartless bastard for this, but when I saw him put the pacifier in his mouth because, for some reason, that amused his traumatised wife, I felt horror. This man had done nothing but be vulgar towards everyone around him, including rip off a bikini to use as a napkin. He is a nasty piece of work, and throwing a dead baby into his backstory as an excuse for his ugly design feels nothing short of manipulative.


Best Villains


10. Caesar Clown

The main antagonist of Punk Hazard, and voiced by the fantastic man behind both Frieza and Mayuri Kutosutchi, Caesar is a bit of an odd duck. Working for Doflamingo as a top scientist, Caesar has somehow managed to remain a part of the series ever since his first appearance with a slightly ambiguous role. Is he good? Bad? Or just in it for himself? Either way, he's been quite memorable.

Should... I try and make a fart joke? I feel like I should.
As the first main villain that the Straw Hats came across in the New World, Caesar needed to make sure he was interesting enough to keep the flow going and he did it with a flare. A Devil Fruit power completely about gas, an evil laugh, and a mad scientist glimmer that makes me just so happy to have him stick around. We all love a mad scientist, and this Orochimaru-looking fucker is easily one of the best the series has to offer.


9. Spandam

An incompetent villain is always good for a laugh, and Spandam is as incompetent as they come. Unlike a certain other comical villain, Spandam fails at almost every turn and would have easily been defeated if he didn't have the CP9 by his side to back up his nonsense, which actually does provide a nice counter to the villains like Rob Lucci. Everyone else in this arc is so overwhelmingly competent and in control, that Spandam is such a nice change.

Historic.
Easily the weakest enemy of the Water 7 Saga, Spandam is a perfect example of the corruption that lies in the government and how they will do anything to achieve their own goals, including selling out his own henchmen and even pushing the golden button that can wipe out entire islands. Accident or not, he will ruin your life. Spandam is such a bastard that it is impossible not to be giddy when he is constantly bashed by everyone else, be it Franky, Nico Robin or even Sogeking, and that pathetic yet villainous display is what gets Spandam to number 9.


8. Arlong

Before Arlong, we had dealt with a few competent villains but nothing that scary. It was only when Arlong was first introduced did the series suddenly get turned to 11 and we saw some real brutality. Nami's adoptive mother died, (or locked in a dungeon and forgotten forever if you watch 4Kids), her village was taken over and Nami herself was made to work until she bled. It's a horrific display that makes me often forget there were other villains long before Arlong entered the picture. That's how scary he is.

"My sweet, deluded little minion. Aren't we forgetting one teensy-weensy, but-ever-so-crucial, little, tiny detail? I own you!"
Contrary to popular belief, Arlong is not actually Disney's Hades, but rather a fishman who despises humanity, due to a long history of prejudice between humans and fishmen. A former comrade of Jinbe, a very likeable ally of Luffy, Arlong went rogue and has a huge lust for betrayal and blood, with Nami often being the main target for his evil. His battle with Luffy was the series' best at the time, and his presence loomed over the entire Fishman Island arc despite his departure long ago. It's almost a shame he hasn't returned, isn't it?


7. Akainu

So there was a time when nobody thought Ace would actually die, due to Oda's long history of literally no major character dying in the series so far. That all changed when Akainu, admiral of the Marines, smashed his huge lava-coated fist through Ace and changed both Luffy, and One Piece itself, forever.

Do you think more people should just casually wear their job titles on their hats? "Scientist" or "Binman" or "Spider-Man".
Otherwise known as Sakazuki, Akainu is now the current fleet admiral and will stop at nothing to invoke "Thorough Justice", as he calls it. If pirates need to die for peace to occur, then he'll gladly burn some heads to do so. Innocents will pay the price if it means Akainu can tear apart his targets, which he has shown time and time again. Very scary stuff. His only true flaw is a lack of personality, which sadly keeps him from going any higher on this list, but he deserves a spot here anyway because of what he has done to the franchise, and permanently scarring Luffy's mind and body forever.



6. Gekko Moriah

I love Halloween, so any villain that is basically the living embodiment of Halloween itself is aces in my book. While probably not popular for a lot of fans, I personally think this big bastard is great. His design is ridiculous and resembles a balloon more than a vampire, and he actually manages to hold his own despite being the main villain after the best arc of the series. For someone having to follow-up after the Water 7 Saga, Moriah does a far better job than certain other villains would have had to do.

It's like if Tim Burton's wet dreams came to life!
Gekko is a character that gets much more fascinating when you really examine him. We see a lazy, dismissive attitude towards fighting his own actions, yet we know he lost his crew long ago which could relate to his refusal to put in effort unless provoked. He is a (former) willing member of the Shichibukai, has his own agenda to be the Pirate King, and provided one of the most difficult battles of Luffy's entire career thanks to his awesome power to steal shadows and insert them into giants. It's a shame he has been away from the story for so long, isn't it?


5. Buggy the Clown

So while Arlong was the first threatening villain, here we have the first memorable villain! The Clown Prince of Crime (well, he would be if it wasn't for Joker, Violator, Pennywise, Kefka and that creepy one from Poltergeist) and captain of the Buggy Pirates, Buggy the Clown has been a recurring force since the days before Usopp and Sanji were even introduced. For someone with so few successes in his life, that's quite an achievement.

Aww. He thinks he's people.
His power to split himself into several parts is always used for both comedic and creative effect, making him one of the highlights of the Impel Down arc due to being such a useful asset to Luffy. His determination to come out on top provides plenty of laughs, especially when he somehow becomes a hero to the most dangerous criminals out there. This guy is such a great villain that he has actually managed to trick the government into giving him Shichibukai membership, and he still isn't fully aware of how he pulled this trick off! Buggy, you are truly an entertaining clown and I hope you stick around for a long time.


4. Rob Lucci

And now we come to the one behind my favourite fight, the head of the CP9 and main antagonist of One Piece's best arc; Rob Lucci! Introduced to the series as a peculiar man who uses a pigeon as part of his ventriloquist act, Lucci eventually revealed his dark intentions when he betrayed his own comrades and was revealed to be part of the corrupt government. Not only could Lucci turn into a giant leopard-man, he possessed some truly terrifying skills that gave him iron skin and forceful fingering. He fingered Luffy hard!

He loses points though for having the absolute worst goatee of all time.
While Lucci does lack a bit of personality at times, his cool personality and order keeps everyone in the CP9 under control when they start to act too outlandish for their own good. He keeps the arc from getting ridiculous and makes sure that Spandam's tomfoolery isn't what drives the plot. You can also thank Lucci for Luffy achieving Second and Third Gear, pushing Luffy past his limits further than he has ever gone, and even for making Usopp take on the identity of Sogeking so he can save Nico Robin. Thanks to his mighty contribution, I grant Lucci the place of number 4.


3. Marshall D. Teach (Blackbeard)

And now we come to one of the most peculiar villains of the series, but in a far different way than everyone else is. While almost every odd character in One Piece have an annoying catchphrase they repeat over and over again or have a design that is more of an abomination than the Human Centipede, Blackbeard's weirdness comes from how much he contradicts himself. Sometimes, he is a ferocious monster and other times he is a stupid weakling. And that's what makes him so fascinating.

One of these hands is not like the other.
One of these hands just doesn't belong.
It's important to remember that the first time Luffy ever met this man, he got given inspiration from him as if he was a mentor. The two were alike at their first meeting, and actually got along well. That alone is enough to make Blackbeard wonderful, but his constant mission to be more and more of a bastard every time we see him almost contradicts the first time we ever saw him. Along with that, his history as Whitebeard's "son", his desire to gain the One Piece and his possession of two Devil Fruits make him a surprisingly memorable villain. If I had to guess, I'd say Blackbeard could very well be the final antagonist of the franchise.


2. Crocodile

And now we finally come to the James Bond villain, Crocodile! And make no mistake, this man is definitely a Bond villain. He has a distinctive scar, an evil lair, reveals his plan through a monologue, evil pets that eat anyone he orders, and he of course has a scene where he betrays his own allies for failing him. Oh and a sexy evil sidekick. Crocodile is as classic as they come.

There's a fan theory that the reason Crocodile hates Ivankov is because Crocodile is actually a woman and was turned into a man by Ivankov's hormone-powers. I don't know if my sexuality would survive, but oh man do I hope that's true.
Crocodile instantly gets a high spot on this list for being the first ever villain to defeat Luffy not just once, but twice! He is one of two Shonen Jump villains that actually managed to make controlling sand terrifying, and his role as "Mr 0" cast a dark shadow over the entire Alabasta Saga long before he ever entered the picture. Most recently, he has escaped Impel Down and vowed to regain power, which is honestly one of the biggest reasons for me to keep paying attention to the story right now. I want this bastard back!


1. Donquixote Doflamingo (Joker)

I agonised quite a bit on whether to give this spot to Crocodile or this man, but while Crocodile attempted to take over an entire city by being their protector, Doflamingo actually achieved that goal and was in full control of Dressrosa, all thanks to just one night of trickery and madness! Known to many as "Joker", Doflamingo goes under a category of villain that I absolutely adore; He was born evil!

I know he's meant to look evil but... he just looks like he needs to poop!!! (The anime really ruins the manga's artwork)
Doflamingo is on the top of quite a few "Top One Piece Villains" lists and it's easy to see why. From his outlandish Jim Carrey design, to his utter delight at getting his own way, to his surprising loyalty to his own crew members, Doflamingo is a treat. He doesn't waste time trying to get you to pity him, but instead works to make you fear him! He is a bastard through-and-through, with enough brains and brilliance to keep the entire Straw Hat crew on their toes. His time may be done, but his influence on the "New World" will always be felt as the crew have now invoked the wrath of Kaidou thanks to this man!


"Goodbye!"
Shiggins:[Admin]   .
Born under the stars of the Dark Gods, Shiggins owns the power of the Great Eye and is utterly magnificent in his omniscience. If you dare to discover more about someone as great as him, then go ahead. And to all my friends and family members, YOU are wrong and I should be disappointed! Not the other way round!,. You can find out about him or ask him stuff on ask.fm/shigginsishere or go to his tumblr page http://otakugajeel.tumblr.com/

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