The Predator - Movie Review

Written by Shiggins

What an unimaginative movie name.

And sadly, it is somewhat fitting for a lot of this movie. Not all of it, but The Predator has definitely not provided the worthy follow-up to the original Predator or 2010's underappreciated Predators that fans were hoping for. On the bright side, it very obviously wants a sequel! So... that's something, right?

Great poster, but these titles are getting annoying.

The Predator is about Quinn McKenna, played by Boyd Holbrook, a former Army Ranger who has discovered the existence of the Predators after one crash-landed near him and wiped out his unit. He's wrote off as mentally insane to keep quiet because government guys are bad guys, but it's stopped when the Predator returns and is looking for his equipment because something bigger is coming to Earth! So now Quinn, his son with Asperger syndrome, a biologist played by Olivia Munn, and a group of soldiers with their own mental problems must band together to take on the Predator and... *gasp*... the Big Predator!

Daddy's home. Where's my beer?

I'll give the actors credit, since none of them are giving a bad performance with the roles they're given. Even the kid Rory, played by Wonder's Jacob Tremblay, is portrayed well. However, none of them are interesting or memorable. They've all been given a distinct trait each so you can at least recognise each of them, but the characters themselves are thin, weak and not worth investing in. None of them have any notable arc, and they all love to laugh and swear.

Speaking of laughter, there are some surprisingly good jokes in this. I didn't expect a Predator movie to make me laugh, but this one achieved it quite a few times during the first and second act. This is a double-edged sword though, so a lot of the humour, while funny, does clash with the action and gore we came to see. Between this misuse of balancing humour and action, and my complete disinterest towards the characters, I never felt any tension during the film. Not once.

"Eeeeeeeagle!"

The Predator itself is easily one of the most badass monsters in movie history. The design of this creature is fantastic, and the personalities and codes of honour that they've displayed over the years, while questionable at times, is distinct and utterly genius. And like in Predators, The Predator introduces a new incarnation of the beast that is designed to be bigger and better than what we're used to. Well.... it's bigger, certainly.

Despite the CGI looking fairly decent, this new Big Predator has nothing that sets it apart from the others. It's certainly taller and stronger than the other Predators of the past, but it displays even less personality than the majority of the humans. And that's no fun! The last movie brought out a trio of Predators that were all far more interesting than this one. And far more efficient at killing too. This Big Predator barely touches anyone of relevance until the third act.

The Predator wants YOU!

The third act is hard to talk about without giving away spoilers, but I'll do my best. To put it simply, it's fairly reminiscent of the original Predator movie, but rushed to 20 minutes and shot mostly in the dark. I feel like the crew convinced themselves they were doing a homage to the original, but I personally see it as a poor attempt to reach that film's level.

The action itself is fine, if unremarkable. Some of the gore is creative and while the script is clearly desperate to have as many quips as possible so it stuffs in far too many, I did smirk or laugh at some of the lines. It has at least something interesting every now and again to keep you from falling asleep, but that's it really.

I SAID WHERE'S MY FUCKING BEER!?

On it's own, The Predator is a dumb action flick that is failing to be as cool as it wants to be, but it's harmless, and won't piss you off like many other movies no doubt have this year. As a part of the franchise however, and with such a fascinating monster to write about, it comes out as a failure. If you don't care about the Predator franchise and are very forgiving with story. I'd say it's fine to watch. Anyone else though, should definitely check out The Equaliser 2 instead.

Oh and on a last note, the final scene can go fuck itself. I thought it was going to be an amazing reveal, but it was embarrassingly lame sequel-bait that makes me want to see a sequel even less. Just to spite the stupidity of that scene.

Movie Rating: 5.5/10

Best Performance: Jacob Tremblay as Rory McKenna.

Best Part: Surprising humour.

Worst Part: A fatal lack of tension, and the final scene.

That armour... Mithril!

Shiggins:[Admin]
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Born under the stars of the Dark Gods, Shiggins owns the power of the Great Eye and is utterly magnificent in his omniscience. If you dare to discover more about someone as great as him, then go ahead. And to all my friends and family members, YOU are wrong and I should be disappointed! Not the other way round!,. You can find out about him or ask him stuff on ask.fm/shigginsishere or go to his tumblr page http://otakugajeel.tumblr.com/