Tuesday, February 27, 2018

Top 10 Worst Dragon Ball Characters

Written by Shiggins

This list hurt to write.

Through the tears I shed for my beloved Dragon Ball Super about to go on hiatus, I made a decision to write two lists about the entire continuity of Akira Toriyama's finest work. One of them will be a positive list that I can only write after Super has finished, so let's get to the negative one first. And when talking about negatives, its always best to go for the classic character list. So here we are... My Top 10 characters from the Original, Z, GT and Super instalments of Dragon Ball!

10. Chiaotzu

What even is this thing? A human with make-up? A goblin? An elf? Well, I don't know about any of that but I do know that Chiaotzu is pointless. Constant companion to Tien, a surprisingly cool character when given a chance to do so, Chiaotzu is a psychic who seeks to... be beside Tien constantly.

Clowns ruin every party, don't they?
Whatever purpose Chiaotzu had, it was long gone by the King Piccolo saga, and what we're left with is someone who has no reason to exist anymore. Tien mentions him from time to time as someone who has to stay at home because he's too weak to participate, but that only highlights how utterly unnecessary a character he is. He can't use his brain like Bulma or be comical like Hercule, so he's nothing. His most iconic moment is literally failing, in which be blows himself up to try to kill Nappa and it does nothing. In fact, thanks to FighterZ turning that into Tien's special move, it's almost comical now.

How to Fix: Let him stay exploded.

9. Zoonama

I want to make it clear that I set a rule for myself to include as few GT characters as possible, since I didn't want this entire list to be just bashing the non-canon series. However, we have to acknowledge it and so here we are with a character that is literally so uninspired, that he is a ripoff of a previous character from long ago. And not even a good character! He's ripping off Oolong!

I can't even enjoy the crossdressing because of this prick.
Zoonama is an alien monster who craves women, because that's what monsters do. To attempt to defeat him, Goku and the others dress poor Trunks up as a woman against his will to lure the monster in and attack him. Not only was this not funny, because we had seen it long ago, but it didn't even make sense. Others may annoy you more, but a great way to piss me off is to basically steal something and claim it as your own. And no, "homage" is not what we're going to call it here.

How to Fix: Delete GT's canon.

8. Super Videl

Technically a cheat, I know, but I couldn't in good conscience say that Z Videl and Super Videl are the same character without curling my toes in agony. Z's Videl is such a radically different person from the version she is in Super, (and technically GT too) that I couldn't even consider them the same person and had to talk about how disappointing she became.

She is no longer Waifu material...
Do you remember Z's Videl? She was quick to act, sometimes reckless, strong of will, determined, funny, competitive, fierce and quite a decent fighter. We even got to see her learn the power of Ki in a way very few others have. Ever since the defeat of Buu however, Videl has devolved into a stepford wife, content to stay at home and let her husband do the work. She feels neutered, which is ironic since she has more hair now than she used to. A character who was once proud and a blast of fresh air, now just another background smile with nothing to do except give birth.

Her confrontation against Barry Khan was pretty cool though.

How to Fix: Give her a haircut so she can teach her dad about ki.

7. Adult Gohan

I know, I know. I swear this is the last time I cheat on this list. Kid-to-Teen Gohan was a marvel, and his defeat of Cell is often seen as one of the greatest moments in the entire Dragon Ball canon. Then he appeared in the Buu arc with a new design, voice actor and personality that was meant to make him the new protagonist. Of course, that didn't happen but did that mean Gohan had to suffer so much?

The biggest problem with Adult Gohan, besides never making him consistent with how dorky he wants to be, is that the series keeps teasing us more for him but never paying it off. For example, the Elder Kai unlocks all of Gohan's potential after he spends forever lifting a sword out of a stone, but then Buu absorbs him and that's the end of it. Most recently, Dragon Ball Super heavily focused on what Gohan could do and his power, but then threw him aside without any new transformations or noticeable achievements to help him stand out from the others. The writers need to decide if they want Gohan to be the hero, or stay at home and raise Pan. He can't do both.

How to Fix: Let him win!

6. Pan

Speaking of Pan, let's shit on GT some more with this insanely annoying character. The granddaughter to Goku, who is now older than him because bad writers had a bad idea, accompanies her grandfather throughout the story and yet rarely feels like one that contributes to it. GT earned a reputation as being an annoying nuisance, and Pan feels like the poster child for that.

It's as if someone took Jade from Jackie Chan Adventures and removed all her likeability. (I just gave you all a nostalgic flashback, didn't I?)
Bossy, controlling and worst of all, boring. Pan is lacking in multiple areas that make characters actually feel relevant, to the point that even GT stopped using after a point. Sure, she made an extended cameo here and there but she was never doing anything. For a series that was trying to pass itself off as "cool" and literally used 90s phrases like "Not your parents' Dragon Ball", they ironically made such a lame girl for it.

How to Fix: Super Saiyan Pan?

5. Broly

Shut up, Broly sucks! I'm so fed up with fans talking about Broly, and it's time for me to take a stand against this! Nostalgia is the only reason so many people love him, and it stops now! As the only movie character to appear on this list, due to the remaining being likeable or too forgettable to even acknowledge (hello, Lord Slug and Cooler), Broly is very likely to be the main reason I get angry comments on this article.

Man, I love the way he just... uh... loses to Goten and Trunks?
Marketed as "The Legendary Super Saiyan", Broly is packed with possibilities. Endless opportunities to exploit, but the writers took a very odd turn with this character and drove his amazing premise off a cliff. His design is ridiculously badass and he can be great to play in video games because of his overpowered strength, but the reason he hates Goku is because he cried as a fucking baby, and his personality is paper-thin. Do not tell me a guy who screams "Kakarot" over and over because he cried next to him as a baby is the best villain ever. Just don't.

How to Fix: Give him boobs.

4. Son Goten

I'm weirdly angry at the existence of Goten, the youngest of Goku's children. After the death and temporary retirement of Goku, someone on the editing team must have told Akira Toriyama that he needed to have Goku's face in the series somewhere, and his response was to give Kid Trunks a partner that looked exactly like him. Maybe he should have given the kid a personality instead.

50/50 chance that you thought this was Kid Goku at first.
People best remember Goten as the kid that fuses with another kid to create a strong kid, but even that quickly fades away from your memory since Gotenks is a combination of enjoyable and obnoxious. Instead of having his own character, Goten is just a cuter version of kid Goku, with the exact same hairstyle and a modern gi. Having a second child of Goku could be something fascinating in so many different ways, but they squander him. Waste him. And so I hate him.

How to Fix: Have Piccolo train him for a year.

3. Giru

The robot sidekick of Dragon Ball GT that... Oh, screw it. I don't need to explain myself with this twat. You know how much he deserves to be here!

Just to bring home how much this character sucks, I've got a gif of him doing the Paru Paru dance.
How to Fix: Give him the same treatment that the printer from Office Space got.

2. Fat Buu

When Buu first appeared, it was fascinating. A force of evil that had been building up during the entire arc, revealed to be this fat pink blob of love and innocence that adored destruction and chaos as much as sugar and sweets. Buu was terrifying in the most remarkable way, and his friendship with Mr Satan, the greatest character ever, was wonderful. It even gave us the divisive Super Buu and the freakish Kid Buu... and then the original Buu returned and the series kept going.

This is the start of an amazing rivalry that will last at least 20 minutes before Buu falls asleep again.
Both GT and Super seem unsure how to use this character at all, without making him either useless or a hindrance. In Battle of Gods, he pissed off Beerus by being a greedy git. In GT, he fused with Uub to create Majuub... who did nothing. And in Super, they keep implying he could be useful during an upcoming arc, but then he falls asleep. Fat Buu is an asshole to everyone, but the biggest sin is refusing to even contribute in any arc and just be in the way.

How to Fix: WAKE HIM UP!

1. The Shadow Dragons

I think there were two writers when it came to GT. One was an unbeatable genius who had concepts that was going to change the way Dragon Ball was seen for future generations. And the other writer was an absolute fucking clown who took every concept and wiped his/her/its hairy arse with them. And nowhere is the destruction of a concept more noticeable in Dragon Ball's history than these Shadow Dragons.

Evil dragons that represented some of the most memorable wishes in the franchise, including the resurrection of Namek, and having to be battled by Goku and his friends. Writing that sentence is beautiful, which is why it is such a shame that GT fucked it up. With the exception of Nouva and possibly his brother Eis, all the dragons are gimmicks and jokes with zero personality or development.

This might actually be one of the biggest fails I have ever seen in any life.
A woman dragon embarrassed at being Oolong's wish for panties, a literal mole-dragon, a frog dragon, a dragon that looks like an ugly bird and absorbs the sun, a bland white dude who laughs a lot... Such a mess. None of the battles are fun or tense, and other than Super Saiyan 4 Gogeta, you won't remember a damn thing about them. A waste of time and a perfect way to end GT, the ultimate failure.

How to Fix: Reboot them. And give them to competent writers.

Honourable Mentions:



Brianne de Chateau
Shiggins:[Admin]   .
Born under the stars of the Dark Gods, Shiggins owns the power of the Great Eye and is utterly magnificent in his omniscience. If you dare to discover more about someone as great as him, then go ahead. And to all my friends and family members, YOU are wrong and I should be disappointed! Not the other way round!,. You can find out about him or ask him stuff on ask.fm/shigginsishere or go to his tumblr page http://otakugajeel.tumblr.com/


  1. I remember long back I made this fanfic changing Brolys motivation to he hates Goku for living the life he never had and still obtaining super sayain.
    I semi agree with the Adult Gohan I find it annoying that Gohan never fails to disappoint but at the same time of the writers were smart they could write a rather compelling arc dealing with the choice between being a fighter or raising Pan which could even bring forth some nice development for Goku
    Also Boobs they are a magic that solves more problems then the dragon balls.

    1. A better motivation than the current one we have. Then again, the Giant Chicken's motivation from Family Guy is better than Broly's.

      God bless boobs. Never underestimate their power.